Great Truths in Simple Words for Little Children (Two Volumes in One)

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Research has shown many different temperament types, but they have largely been divided into two main categories: inhibited and uninhibited average approach.

Four Tips for Parenting a Strong-Willed Child

Most kids show some level of wariness in new situations. They may cautiously explore a new toy or slowly approach a stranger. Most of the research has focused on children with an inhibited temperament, those children who are ultra-cautious and tend to back away from or resist new situations. These children may be more likely to be socially anxious.

But recently, developmental psychologists have identified a third type of temperament , the strong-willed exuberant child. The set of traits an exuberant child has can be amazing strengths and serve them well in the future. But, they will need a lot of gentle guidance to get there. The first step to understanding your exuberant child is realizing this is their temperament, it is simply how they are built. Kate Degnan, Ph.

They are highly positive, social, and ready to embrace new things 1. He felt no hesitation to go up, say hello, sit down and start talking to a boy his age at another table. That sociability was not something we taught him.

How to Parent Your Strong-Willed Child According to Science: Understanding Their Temperament

It is just how he is built. We have a tendency to only focus on the stubbornness, intensity, and the willfulness that seems to come along with exuberance, but there are many positive traits about the exuberant child. These are joyful children! Many of our expectations and beliefs are held in our labels.

We might think of our highly-spirited and exuberant child as demanding, stubborn, defiant, and single-minded. D aff link. Research shows that children with exuberance will also develop high self-regulation when their mothers are rated as high in gentle discipline. One way to do this is to use games and fun activities to practice regulation.

Harness their playful nature by being playful yourself. In the posts below I give more specific examples for parenting the exuberant child — ways to work on regulation, books that focus on impulse control, and tips to harness that joy and enthusiasm and turn it into cooperation! Exuberant children have been found to be more risk for developing more disruptive behavior 2 , more risk-taking behaviors in childhood 3 , ADHD 4 , and more risk-taking behaviors sex, drugs, alcohol in young adulthood 5.

This does not paint an optimistic picture. But, they will need a lot of gentle guidance to get there.

The first step to understanding your exuberant child is realizing this is their temperament, it is simply how they are built. Kate Degnan, Ph. They are highly positive, social, and ready to embrace new things 1.


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He felt no hesitation to go up, say hello, sit down and start talking to a boy his age at another table. That sociability was not something we taught him. It is just how he is built.

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We have a tendency to only focus on the stubbornness, intensity, and the willfulness that seems to come along with exuberance, but there are many positive traits about the exuberant child. These are joyful children! Many of our expectations and beliefs are held in our labels. We might think of our highly-spirited and exuberant child as demanding, stubborn, defiant, and single-minded.

D aff link. Research shows that children with exuberance will also develop high self-regulation when their mothers are rated as high in gentle discipline. One way to do this is to use games and fun activities to practice regulation. Harness their playful nature by being playful yourself. In the posts below I give more specific examples for parenting the exuberant child — ways to work on regulation, books that focus on impulse control, and tips to harness that joy and enthusiasm and turn it into cooperation!

Exuberant children have been found to be more risk for developing more disruptive behavior 2 , more risk-taking behaviors in childhood 3 , ADHD 4 , and more risk-taking behaviors sex, drugs, alcohol in young adulthood 5. This does not paint an optimistic picture. The good news is that researchers have found that the reason behind these potential outcomes is not necessarily exuberance itself, but rather the combination of being exuberant and having poor regulation skills.

So, the big limitation to focus on here is self-regulation. Being exuberant tends to go hand in hand with having impulsivity and self-regulation issues. Well, it probably gets back to their temperament. A careful and wary child naturally has more time to think about how they will approach a situation and how they will react. The exuberant child jumps in without thinking. They need to learn not only how to regulate negative emotions, like frustration, but also how to regulate excitement and positivity.